Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
