just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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