I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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