did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
tell me about the fingering
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