i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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