do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
