i barfeds in our rink
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
