I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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