i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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