i just wanna soil my oats bro
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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