so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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