Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Randomize
