I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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