My hand turned me down
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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