So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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