im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
