You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
