Only a mothe r could love this liver
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
