There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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