TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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