Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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