We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize