He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
