I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Someone shit on the floor
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
