He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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