So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
