i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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