I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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