Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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