dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I would fuck him just for his dog
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
