Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
He had one of those small greek statue penises
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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