roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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