Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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