Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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