I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
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