My brain says no but my pants say off.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
