we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize