dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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