Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Someone signed my nipple.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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