My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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