why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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