Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
