I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
