if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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