I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
