I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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