also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
