I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize