I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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