He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
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