Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
