No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Randomize
