I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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