Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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