i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
