I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
