I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
