You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I just want to make out with him forever
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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