o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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